BUY THIS COMPANY
It was never the goal of our founders, Melissa Dettloff and Mark Maynard, to run this site forever. Their goal when setting out was simply to establish that there was a market for severed unicorn head knick-knacks, trinkets, keepsakes, collectibles and memorabilia. And, now that this has been proven beyond anyone's wildest dreams, they would like to focus on their newly established Hair-Weaves-For-Higher-Primates Institute, allowing new leaders to take the helm and guide the Severed Unicorn Head Superstore to "the next level."
Are you that person? Do you have the fire in your belly? Are you a motivator, a goal setter, a take charge kind of person who lives only to increase shareholder value? Or, are you a sad, pathetic loser just reading this site because you don't want to do the work, whatever it is, that you're being paid to do? Regardless, we will talk with you if you have money.
As of Monday, December 10, 2007, the Severed Unicorn Head Superstore Corporation was valued at $507,340, an increase of nearly 20% from the week prior. This change in valuation was primarily due the strength of the new "Do Not Tuck Into Pants" Severed Unicorn Head t-shirt line, and an unconfirmed report that Dettloff was overheard saying the phrase "Urban Outfitters" to Maynard. Please contact management for an up-to-date quote.
