We’re very excited to be able to roll out our newest initiative tonight. We’re calling it, “Send us a unicorn, and we’ll send you the head.” It’s easy. All you have to do is trick a unicorn into a bag, incapacitate it, and mail it to us along with a five dollar bill. Then, we’ll send you back the head, and a bunch of Severed Unicorn Head Superstore stickers. It’s a win, win. Your marble floors stay clean of blood, hair and marrow, and we help one more unicorn along the evolutionary path proscribed by god… All heads are returned in plain, brown packages, so your neighbors will never know.